Curing Introversion

It isn't a secret to anyone who has met me that I'm extremely introverted, which in turn means misunderstood. Many people don't understand what introversion is. Some of the people that have an idea of what it is, think it is some kind of personality disorder. Well, it's not a disorder. It's not something that can be "worked out" through talk therapy or constantly subjecting yourself to social situations. It's not a disease, illness, mutation, plague, or syndrome. There isn't a cure for it.

I often feel bad about it, because I don't want people to think that I don't like them. Socializing just doesn't come naturally to me. Meeting a new person is always tragically awkward. I only think of the perfect thing to say ten minutes after a conversation has ended. I'm really bad at expressing how I feel, even to people that I've known my whole life. I am fortunate enough to have a few really good friends that have managed to not care too much about the wall of solidarity I'm constantly hiding behind. Have you ever been invited to a party that you really didn't want to go to, but felt like you should? I feel like that ALL the time, except it's not because I don't like the people there. I'd probably really like to spend time with most of them individually. It's just that being in a large group of people is terribly uncomfortable for me.

It's true that the extreme side of anything can be bad. Extroversion and introversion alike. Every single thing that I do or say must be carefully considered. I'm constantly asking myself things like, "will I be able to blend in there?", "will I be able to leave early without drawing attention to myself?", "will there be any presentations in this class and if so, can I pass without doing them?", "when is the least busiest time to go to this particular store?", and well, you get the idea. It's stressful and exhausting. There is no cure, but I've found the closest thing to it: buy the cutest puppy you can possibly find.

That's what I did, unintentionally. I love all dogs. I wasn't set out to find the cutest one. We wanted some kind of lab mix and the one that was born at the perfect time for us, just so happened to be the cutest puppy in Canada. Pictures really don't do him justice. When he does his little puppy trot on our walks, his ears flop up and down. It's adorable. We can't go anywhere without being stopped. Everyone wants to pet him, some people even thank us for the opportunity. We've had to answer all sorts of questions about him. I've met more people in the last month, than I have in the entire year before that. As if that isn't bad enough, I've actually arranged to meet other people with dogs because I'm worried that HE won't get enough socialization. I signed up for two groups on Meetup.com, one meeting every weekend and the other meeting once a month. I've also arranged to meet another person with a puppy in the park once during the week.

I definitely wouldn't say that I've had a conversion to extroversion, even though that's really fun to say. I would, however, say that I've been nudged into some extroverted tendencies for the sake of a spoiled rotten pup. It hasn't been all that bad, though. People that have dogs are great to be around! That doesn't mean if you don't have a dog, you aren't great to be around. There are exceptions to every rule. But, I've never met a dog lover that I didn't like. They are generally happier people. When you meet them, you already know that you have something in common. There is no pressure to find common ground. There aren't any difficult-to-answer questions. This is about as much as I can handle. I've got my close friends, my family, my dog, and my dog meetups.


P.S. Sorry for not going to that party that you invited me to!