What Extroverted Teachers Need to Learn

I know I've already blogged about introversion, but I found an article today that really got my blood boiling and I just have to say something about it. It's called Introverted Kids Need to Learn to Speak Up at School with the subtitle Every child should be graded on class participation -- and parents don't help their children when they argue otherwise. It was written by Jessica Lahey.

First, let me start by saying kudos to those parents who are questioning teaching methods. This should be happening way more often than it does. The idea that there is ONE right way to teach every child is, in my opinion, a big part of why we are failing so miserably in education. We are in desperate need for big changes and the only way that is going to happen is by questioning the way we do things now. This isn't what I want to talk about though. I want to explain all of the reasons why the author of this article is wrong.

When it comes time to assess my students' engagement with these questions, I could quiz them daily and force them to write reams about the topics I want them to consider. Or I can ask them to open their mouths, turn on their brains, and share their ideas with the rest of the class. I opt for a happy medium, and require a little bit of both.

Man, I really hope you don't talk to those kids about writing the way you did here. Why do you "force" them to write, but "ask" them to open their mouths? And "reams"? Sounds like a pretty bad exaggeration. It seems to me that you think they don't "turn on their brains" when they write, only when they speak. And most importantly, why do you think that public speaking is the only way to share ideas? If that's the case, shouldn't you be giving a speech instead of writing this article?

I am aware that as an extrovert, I naturally teach to and understand the needs of extroverts. Consequently, I have worked very hard to research and implement teaching strategies that work for introverted students. I have a personal interest in the subject as well, as I am married to one introvert and mother to another.

Well, thank you for admitting your bias; I feel a little bit better now. However, I would still like to know what specific strategies you have implemented after all of the research you have "worked very hard" on. There are a couple of things that you should "work very hard" on realizing. 

1) Your personal interest does not matter when it comes to teaching the children of other people  

2) Knowing one or two introverts does not mean that you know ALL introverts.

In the end, I have decided to retain my class participation requirement. As a teacher, it is my job to teach grammar, vocabulary, and literature, but I must also teach my students how to succeed in the world we live in -- a world where most people won't stop talking. If anything, I feel even more strongly that my introverted students must learn how to self-advocate by communicating with parents, educators, and the world at large.

I think that everyone would be better off if you focused on YOUR job. As you've stated, your job is to teach grammar, vocabulary, and literature. I'm not entirely sure that you "must" take it upon yourself to teach your students how to succeed in the world we live in. I feel like that should be up to the parents. I think that when you make introverted kids speak in front of the class all of the time, you are taking their focus away from what they should be learning. It is really hard to learn and remember grammar, vocabulary, and literature when you can't stop thinking about an upcoming speech you have to give. It IS your job to figure out how each student learns better and accommodate to their needs. It IS NOT your job to try to force them to learn things the way that you do. The fact that you "feel even more strongly" that your introverted students must learn how to self-advocate, is a very extroverted assumption. More to come on this later.

Dr. Kendall Hoyt -- introvert, assistant professor of medicine at Dartmouth Medical School -- agrees. "You don't get a pass for your personality type. I understand that social anxiety is a real thing - I am an introvert, and my mother used to actually faint if she had to do public speaking - but part of my job as a teacher is to teach people how to articulate and be heard."

Hoyt applies this same philosophy to her own children, both introverts. She and her babysitter have constructed elaborate social scavenger hunts for the children, games that require them to approach strangers, look them in the eye, and ask for whatever the game requires - directions, information, or signatures.

When I asked her why she puts so much effort into her children's ability to communicate with strangers, she answered, "In order to be effective in this world, you must be able to communicate. If you can't speak up for yourself, if you can't muster the courage to tell the person you love that you love them, if you can't advocate for your own safety, the world will be a very intimidating and frightening place. I don't want my kids to be intimidated by the world."

I don't want to talk too much about Hoyt, but since she was referenced so much I felt like I had to at least mention her. I think she sounds like a great parent, the keyword being- parent. Parents should take more responsibility for these kinds of life lessons, not teachers. Furthermore, Learning how to communicate effectively is not improved upon by speaking in front of peers constantly. Not being comfortable speaking in front of groups or not having the desire to share your thoughts frequently, does not mean that you can't speak up for yourself, you can't tell people you love them, or that you will live in an unsafe world that is frightening to you. In fact, those things are hardly related at all. 

When a parent tells me that his or her child is simply not capable of communicating educational and emotional needs, I see a child even more in need of mastering interpersonal communication. I'm not talking about the value of communication as it relates to grades here; I am talking about the value of communication as it relates to personal health, happiness, and safety. A student who is unwilling to stand up for herself and tell me that she does not understand the difference between an adverb and a verb is also less likely to stand up for herself if she is being harassed or pressured in other areas of her life.

Just to clarify, I am not saying that the parents you have dealt with are doing all they can as parents. I also think it is great that you are concerned with their health, happiness, and safety. However, you are wrong and your students are suffering because of it. You cannot assume that "a student unwilling to tell me that she does not understand an adverb and a verb is also less likely to stand up for herself if she is being harassed". That is absolutely ridiculous. Was there a study done to justify this outrageous claim? If so, I can't seem to find it. 

Thanks to my students, Hoyt, and the reams of literature and research on introverts, I have a newfound respect for the people in my life who are less apt to jump into the fray of class discussion. But I also know that sometimes it's important - even imperative - to speak up for one's self. Cain starts her book Quiet with the example of Rosa Parks and the historic "No" she gave the bus driver who asked her to move to the back of the bus. Cain reports that, according to her obituary, Parks was an introvert. And yet that introvert spoke up and claimed her rightful place in the world. In honor of Rosa Parks, Susan Cain, and the many introverted students under my tutelage, I will continue to encourage them to find their voices.

I am also thankful for the "reams" of literature and research on introverts, but I am disappointed that you chose not to use it in the way it was intended. Susan Cain is brilliant, but I don't think she would agree with you. Her reference to Rosa Parks is important, but it does not correlate with your teaching strategy. There is no evidence that Rosa Parks spoke up for herself because she was forced to speak in front of her classmates in school. It is more likely that introverts just make better choices about when they should be heard. 

Most introverts will make their voices heard when it really matters. Introverts spend more time reflecting. As a result, they understand the philosophy of things to a great extent and care deeply about principles. They do not avoid talking altogether. They just don't feel the need to talk when it is not necessary. And as a result, people tend to listen to them more. I am extremely introverted. I hardly ever talk when I don't need to, but I feel compelled to say something when it truly matters to me. Your strategies are wrong and people need to know it, case in point.

This article matters to me, because I feel that I was let down by many of my teachers. When I look back at grade school, I just feel so disappointed. Mostly because all I can remember is being forced into talking in front of the class. I was never worried about the material that we were learning about. I hear about these fascinating things now that I should have been learning in school, and it makes me so mad that the opportunity to learn them was taken from me. I was interested. I wanted to learn. I spent so much of my childhood in school because I was supposed to be learning about those things.

I wasn't stupid. I did very well on written assignments, but I felt stupid because I had such a hard time with presentations. I was made to feel like I had to get over it somehow. I believed it for awhile. In college, I spent a good year forcing myself to do things as if I was an extrovert. I thought I would get used to it. I thought I would actually get over being an introvert. Guess what? It didn't work. I didn't change at all. In fact, I think I would have been much better off if I had focused on being an introvert. Practicing things that you are good at is much more beneficial than trying to be a little bit better at things that don't come naturally to you. What if all of those teachers I had would have encouraged me to write more instead of reading out loud more? What if I would have spent all of that time in grade school learning about subjects in ways that made sense to me? 

Fortunately, I am an adult now. I get to decide how I learn things, but the kids you are teaching are still depending on the system to show them the way. I believe you, and all of my past teachers for that matter, had good intentions. I am begging you to rethink your strategy. This is one of those things that I feel compelled to voice my opinion about and if I had heard your article in a conversation, I would have definitely said something. This matters. We need to give students the education that they deserve.

Small Ideas in Small Places

Living in an apartment is not easy, but it's not all that bad either. I often hear people talking about all of the things that they can't do in an apartment. More often, I hear people telling me about all of the things that I can't do in an apartment: have a large dog, plant a garden, store things properly, etc. I prefer to think about it in terms of how I can do those things with much less space?

So, maybe I can't do those things in the same way that house dwellers can. I'll admit that certain things may be a little easier to do when you have a house, but it doesn't mean that you shouldn't do them. Living in an apartment isn't as limiting as some people think. It just requires you to look at things a little differently. For instance, you might have to be willing to assemble some miniature IKEA furniture.

Thank goodness for Steven and his willingness to read instructions.

This is the couch, not a chair.

You might want to consider starting a window garden. Not just because urban farming sounds super awesome, but also because it's really convenient when you can pick vegetables and herbs right from your kitchen.

Our garden, just getting started.

Obviously you don't want to spend money on customized closet space-savers, but bins can work pretty good too. It's important to be organized when you have to fit a lot of things into a small area. It's okay to group things together too, as long as you know where things are. Everything should have a spot.

I could actually fit a lot more into these closets.

I'm a huge fan of using books as decorations. Even when I lived in a house, storing them was an issue because I had so many. Some people may think it's strange to store books in your kitchen, but I'm okay with it. If you find a space that is perfect for something, make it work!

I spend a lot of time in the kitchen, so it's fortunate that I love being around books.

Balki isn't very big yet, but I'm confident that he will be a happy and healthy giant when he is full grown. If there is one thing that a long walk is sure to do, it's tiring out your dog. A tired dog is a good dog. Even multiple short walks will suffice (depending on the breed). Dogs would much rather spend their time walking with you than sniffing around the backyard. So, I'd say...if you can keep up with the walks, apartments are ideal for dogs.

That's one happy pup!